Since Ben started summer break, he has been trying to rule the roast at home. To say he has been obstinate is putting it mildly. We are trying to incorporate a lot of his school activities into the home. Some of his favorite ones he refuses to participate in at our house!!
We are also trying to incorporate his schedule system for the day and the free time choices into our routine (I'll explain those at the end of the post). Ben has been using both of those successfully all year! However, at home he acts like he's never seen them before. He is covering his eyes so he doesn't have to look at the cards and he keeps his arms so tight against his chest I can't do hand over hand to make him grab a card. And when I grab one for him and set it on his chest (usually Ben's eyes are covered), he uses his fist to knock it off his chest. If I make him just lay there until he gives in, he criest and starts trying to pull out his trach. Tonight he even started yanking on his trach any time I simply signed "no".
Then we had a 15 minute standoff because Ben wouldn't pick between his Mickey Mouse card or Handy Manny card to tell me what show he wanted to watch (keep in mind he ALWAYS picks which show he wants). I was certain Ben would break first. I battled through the tears and didn't give in. I fought off the attempts at pulling out his trach (with Dad's help). I ignored his full body thrashing and pretended not to notice the eye covering... but he never picked anything!!!! GRRrrrrrrrrrr! It is making me crazy. The only thing I can think of is Ben knows that is the activity he does with his school aid... and I'm not her! AND our house is by NO means school. It is a full fledged battle of the wills now and I'm ashamed to admit he is winning. We miss our school aid!!! She needs to move in!
Schedule System:
I have picture cards of all the daily activities he may do - TV, bath, tie change, dr's appointments, nap, etc. We pick out the three cards of the next activities Ben is going to be doing. We put a card in each compartment of a three tray plate (a right one, middle and left). Ben is to take from left to right - pre-reading skill. That lets him know what he is going to be doing, and then what he has planned next.
Free Time Choices:
We have a cookie sheet with magnetic picture cards of all the fun things Ben likes to do - walk, pony walker, play in garage playroom, etc. When he pulls the card on his schedule that says "Play Time", he gets to pick from the cookie sheet of activities.
4 comments:
Amy, I feel like I could have written this story if you just insert Katie's name in place of Ben's everywhere! Katie refuses to do a lot of her school activities at home, too. Her support educator sent a bunch of them home with her, and she does like to get them out and look through them, but she just blazes through them and tosses them over her shoulder and refuses to do the actual activity with me! What a couple stubborn stinkers we have! :-)
Eva's last day is tomorrow and she will have a week and a half off and then summer school for a month.I am so thankful for that!!
I hope your summer is not to hard and he gets back into the swing of things soon.
Hugs,
Crystal and Eva
Aunt Jen said...
I'm sure it is an adjustment for him being home now. I'm sure with time, he'll transition fine.....hang in there.....Elle says hi. :)
This is very typical of a child who leaves school for the summmer. Research shows that it does have to do with the relationship between the child and teacher. His aid and him had a very different relationship than you and him. You are mommy!! You are supposed to let him do what he wants and help him when he cries. Now you are taking on a different role. If you stay consistent with your expectations and continue the attempts, he should start doing the activities with you as well. We witness personality and attitude changes all the time with our children and parents. I understand the frustration. Keep your day structured! I love the pre-reading and planning things they incorporate with Ben. You found a wonderful center!!
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